The year ends.Will Hypocrisy?

The year is coming to a close. Now is the time to mull over the life lessons learnt over the past year. And also think over the priorities and goals for the coming year.

Some valuable insights were gained from experiences throughout this year.

  1. The life is rolling in its own pace. It is not a sheltered tent. Most of the time, we are forced to walk into harsh environments which we have tried to avoid all along. And in those environments, we learn and discover our own strengths and weaknesses.
  2. An attribute which we have always considered to be our strength becomes our undoing.  I had always thought that being impatient  towards lack of movement has helped me grow in my career. but my present view is that it is precisely this particular quality which has made me take decisions in a haste.
  3. It is always wise not to take decisions when the mind is confused. That should not be taken as being indecisive.
  4. A known devil is better than an unknown angel. A cliché, but I forgot to abide by this last January.
  5. It is not necessary to understand everything about the environment one finds himself in.  Most of the time, there is nothing to understand.

What are the core beliefs which should guide my actions in the coming year?

  1. Just being.
  2. Do not be concerned so much about the posturing of others. They are just posturing, as the word itself describes, and not words / actions born out of convictions. 
  3. Learn to distinguish the behaviour patterns of people and to strategize in dealing with them.
  4. Learn to communicate ideas confidently.   This is one area where I need to show dramatic improvement to take my career to higher levels.
  5. Do not be under compulsion in no circumstances.  Wilful positive action is the only way.
  6. Learn to show displeasure in a dispassionate way.  Do keep your emotions under your control all the time.
  7. And most important of all, do not feel the urge to change anything or anyone. This life is just perfect.

*******

On a Monday, I had to stay off from work  due to ill-health. Tuesday morning, CEO during his briefing was trying to arouse my anger.

“What happened to the order that was expected to be shipped before year-end? It wont happen as was expected, right? were you sleeping over it?”

I refused to lose my temper.

“I briefed you last week itself that their internal control systems do not permit suppliers to send documents through Bank and they were asking me to accept their standard procedure sending shipment documents directly to them without the involvement of bank. I did not accept it and finally they agreed for it. Unfortunately necessary approvals were to be taken from their financial department to this effect. But their financial manager is expected only in January 1st week..unless this is finalised, PO cannot be issued by them…without PO, I am not willing to ship out the material”  

Calmly, I explained again to him second time. This did not seem to have subside his inner anger.

“well, you have decided that in the next month’s board meeting, your boss will have to hear criticisms from fellow board members…”

I said “sir, even if this shipment had gone, it would have given us a sales of Rs 7 Lacs only….”

He mumbled “yeah..I know…I am not interested in your statistics”

He started another pronged argument “You have slowed down your progress in your discussions with your customers”

I answered him back “If you could name the customer, I shall be able explain the status update, reasons for progress and lack of it”

I was successful so far in not showing off my anger at his provoking tone and line of questioning.

“You did not turn up yesterday…dont understand why you keep on falling sick often”

This was his last weapon. If there was a meter installed to show my inner anger, I am sure it must have reached its maximum level.  I converted my anger into silence. I did not look at his eyes. I knew if I had seen his eyes,   my anger may have found verbal expressions. I just looked elsewhere and pretended to ignore it.

His words had hit me very hard and I became bitter internally for many hours after the interaction.  What does he want? Does he not want me to take leave even if I am sick?  I don’t understand the logic.  I have not seen Bosses wanting to control so much – They play Gods and will even dictate on when the sub-ordinates can fall sick.

Luckily, I have only one meeting in a day and did not have to see him again that day.

Next day when I came to office, one of the ants informed me with glee in his eyes that CEO won’t come that day. He had fallen sick. He did not turn up next day also.

I had to speak to him on phone one of those days. During the talk, I asked him how was his health.

He said “Very bad…throat infection, body ache, vomitting…..has not stopped for the last two days…its terrible”

I told him “yeah…I can well imagine…I had gone through the same on Monday when I took off….take care…get well soon”

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